Ez and I took a tour of the Autism preschool Elise might be attending in a few months. It's weird because since day 1 of us knowing she had autism I've been so anxious to get her as many hours of therapy as possible, preferably 25+/wk.
When I found out this preschool does 30 hrs/wk plus our speech and OT on top of that I was so excited. But when we drove home from the tour, all I could do was cry. This was not the reaction I had thought I would have knowing we were so close to what I've been wanting since February.
I guess the realization of my little 2-year old leaving me from 9:00am-3:00pm every day all year-round hit me. She still is so little; too young to be gone away from home that much. I don't want her to leave and I don't want her to go there. It hurts to think about.
I know it's all very selfish of me, but all I want is for her to be here with me and for me to be a mom to her, nobody else. I know that that can't be. The only way for her to make these big improvements is to have as much therapy as possible; it would be wrong of me to rob her of these opportunities.
I'm beginning to learn a little more about what sacrifice really is and it's hard.
I LOVE being a mom to my 5 kids; one with special needs. There is no greater joy than being a parent! I love each one individually but this blog will mostly focus on our daughter with special needs and our journey with her. Thanks for reading!