Cal is 11 months today.
He is always holding 2 things in his hands at all times and I love it. Today he discovered cars and figured out how they go back and forth. He pushes trains and hairbrushes across the floor. He stands by himself for long periods of time. It probably sounds cheesy but I am so elated at all this! I love watching him play. It makes me so happy.
I always thought it would be hard and somewhat weird when Cal passed Elise up in pretty much everything.
It has happened though and I don't feel any of that.
I know it is because of God's grace that I can feel peace and contentment with each of them. I have been able to separate Elise from Cal without comparing them and I believe that is a gift I've been given.
The peace the gospel gives me is undeniable. I know she has a specific purpose here and can fulfill it no other way than with the disability she has. I am grateful for each of her successes and am so grateful for Cal's successes.
Yes Cal can say "mama" and "dada" and play, and use his hands, but Elise can light up any room with her contagious smile and personality. Both of them are progressing, one faster than the other, however one of them specifically is helping the rest of us progress eternally.
I received a tender mercy during a moment of frustration.
My friend back east has a son with autism who is a few months older than Elise. She was telling me how many hours of therapy he was getting per week and the progress he was making. I couldn't help but feel jealous and how it wasn't fair how much help he was getting just because of the state he lived in.
One day I felt the most calming and peaceful feeling that our Heavenly Father would make up the difference.
I could only do so much, the state could only do so much, but our Heavenly Father makes all things possible. I know He knows our concerns, worries, and efforts on Elise's behalf and I know He will help Elise grow to her greatest potential here on earth, whatever that may be.
I found this quote and can't help but think of Elise. I love how Anne Pingree uses the same wording as was given to me by the Spirit:
“Sometimes, in spite of all we do to ‘make weak things become strong,’ the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, does not take away our weakness. The Apostle Paul struggled throughout his life with ‘a thorn in the flesh,’ which he said served to humble him ‘lest [he] should be exalted above measure’ (2 Corinthians 12:7). Three times Paul asked the Lord to take away his weakness, and three times the Lord declined to do so. The Lord then explained that His grace was sufficient for Paul and that, in fact, His strength was actually ‘made perfect in weakness.’ Then Paul wrote, ‘Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.’ …
I LOVE being a mom to my 5 kids; one with special needs. There is no greater joy than being a parent! I love each one individually but this blog will mostly focus on our daughter with special needs and our journey with her. Thanks for reading!